Naughty Kitty Checklist

Hai, dis is Munchkin speakin'

I haz developed a checklist of 10 impawtent fings to look fur, so all kitties can pick the most pawsome time to do sumpin notty.  Here it is:

1)  Are the beans resting on the couch, and comfy?   Yes____  No____
2)  Are the beans busy eating a meal?   Yes____ No____
3)  Is Mom bean trying to fold the laundree?   Yes____ No____
4)  Is Mom or Dad bean trying to change out da bed covers?   Yes____  No____
5)  Is one of da beans standin der wif a closit door open?  Yes____ No____
6)  Are da beans in da kitchin an' tryin' to cook?   Yes____ No____
7)  Is der stuffs in da wastebaskets?   Yes____ No____
8)  Is der any foodz left on da cownters?  Yes____  No____
9)  Iz da beans not bizzy, and iz dey tryin' to play a game wif you?  Yes____ No____
10)Did da beans go owt an' leave yous alone? Yes____ No____

And now, heer is how to figger out yur ackshuns--sum of dem are furry obvius, but sum are tricky.
Dees are da ackshuns yoo should takes fur effurry "Yes" anser:

1)  Get into sumpin at da odder end of da howse, and make a lot of noise abowt it.  Purrtend you do not heers dem tellin you to 'cut it owt.'  Stop only after you haz made dem just get up offa da couch.
2)  If your beans eat at da table, roam around under der chairs an' between der feets, meowin' pitifully, like you has not been fed in 6 months.  If your beans eat on da couch, like ours do, then dis is da time to get up on da table, an,' jus' like in #1, do not get down until you haz made dem get up.
3)  Oh, dis is a fun one, and I iz sure, one of da obvius ones.  Clean, warm laundree is such fun to lie in, hide in, and whap!  You kin keep purrtendin' you iz gettin' down when told to, an sneek back aroun da odder side, and git into it agin!  Great game!
4)  Anodder fun game!  Git on da bed, and grab hold wif your clawz when da beans try to put you down.  After dey do get yoo off, get back up on da odder side.  Repeat.  When da sheets is cummin on, da beans cannot see da bed for a few sekkinds..dat iz da time to pownce rite unnderneath, makin a lump.  One of our fafuurite games.
5)  Well, dis one iz a no-brainer!  Sneek into da closit, and go alla way in da back an refewse to come out.  Make dem work at gittin' yoo owt.  Jus when dey almos has hold of yoo...put on yur turbo-boost, and scoot owt like da wind.  MOL
6)  Git unnerfoot, and make dem spill an drop stuff for yoo to taste.  Den, turn up your nose at whateffurr it iz.  Keep up a steady stream of meowin'.
7)  Wastebaskets usuly haz sum innerestin stuffs in dem.  Speshully crinkly paperz.  Tip offur da whole fing, and scatter all da stuffs arownd.  Den, walk away an leave it.
8)  When da beans is comfy (see # 1 & 2), jump on da cownter, and walk around, tastin stuff. Sumtimes you find a really good treat.  I luvs to help dem by lickin' da butter into shape.
9)  Be sure da beans unnerstand dat you play on your terms!  If dey iz trying to innerest you in a game, act like you are so bored dat all you can do iz have a nap.
10)Oh, I has left da best fur last!  If dey haz da nerve to leave you alone, it iz open season on anyfings you wants to do!  Revenge time!  Get into and onto effurryfing!  When you heer dem come home, run and curl up like you wuz nappin da whole time!

I hopes yoo likes my checklist, and dat it helps yoo figger owt da best fings to do, an' da best times to do dem!

Happy Freaky Furriday!

S...Munchkin